I was going a million mph on my metaphorical “do more” bike and then this happened…

So how’s your January been? Have you been expecting yourself to do more and more and more?

I definitely have.

And it’s like the doing is dependent on things being *just so.* So I’m going a million miles an hour, like, I can maintain this pace if I don’t come down with the flu, if no one interrupts me, if I don’t have a wave of grief hit, if I wake up exactly on time, if everyone in my family is well, if my car doesn’t get a flat tire.

And of course, those things tend to happen, because um, life be life-ing.

This week my mom underwent a sudden emergency surgery. If I was going a million miles an hour on my metaphorical “do more” bike, this was like someone jamming a stick in between the wheel spokes. The way it’s pressed on old scars, the way it’s reminded me of that thing I like to pretend isn’t true — that we are all so very vulnerable.

<3

A few years back, I was reading one of my favorite yoga books, Meditations on the Mat by Rolf Gates. It’s a beautiful book full of insights, but one idea in particular really stuck out — the concept of resting in the pose.

Here’s how resting in the pose plays out in a yoga class: if you’re in a challenging yoga pose, like Warrior Two, and you’re at your limit, rather than exit the pose entirely, you ease off. Maybe you bring your hands down to your hips instead extending them out long. Maybe you straighten that front knee a bit so you’re not in as deep of a bend. The goal is to find some ease and rest while remaining in the pose.

I wish I knew how better to do this in real life, but for now, I think there’s so much value in simply sitting with the not knowing.

I hope you find rest in the pose today. <3

OUTFIT DETAILS

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Everlane Cocoon Crew Sweater (sized up 2 sizes for this fit)

Alo Grand Slam Tennis Skirt

Aritzia Unwind Socks

Adidas Sambas

Uniqlo Round Mini Bag

JEWELRY

Target Hollow Hoop Earrings

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