I’ve been thinking about how we sometimes reach for styling structures, systems, and “rules” — and how helpful that can be.
Sometimes we’re in seasons where we want a little framework, a little guidance, a way to narrow down all the choices. Whether it’s looking into Kibbe types, getting our colors done, or doing a capsule wardrobe, these tools can bring stability and clarity when we need them most.
And that’s exactly what they are — tools.
They aren’t forever identities — they’re just helpful ideas we get to pick up when they’re useful and set down when they’re not.
Recently, I’ve found myself in a phase of putting down the tools. Not forever, just for right now.
I’m pulling back from all the leveling up, all the optimization. I just want to wear what feels good.
Sometimes that means repeating “boring” outfits. Sometimes it means matching my accessories in a way that might feel less je ne sais quoi, but brings me joy. Sometimes it means sporty, simple clothes that make sense for my work-from-home life (like today).
I used to think a lot about what my outfit might communicate to others — is it elevated enough? Am I dressing my age? Does it look like I’m trying too hard?
But these days, I’m paying more attention to what I’m telling myself when I get dressed. When I skip over my own preferences, even in small ways, it’s like I’m whispering to myself that my instincts don’t count as much as other people’s expectations. What I really want is to use my style as a way to say to myself, “I’ve got you. What you like matters. Your preferences are valid.”
OUTFIT DETAILS
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Coney Island Picnic x Everlast Jersey (wearing S)
Old Roxy Flip Flops | Similar: Reformation Flip Flops & Gap Vegan Leather Flip Flops
Similar Earrings: Quince Sterling Silver Earrings
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Thanks for reading Unfancy — it means so much to me that you’re here.
This is such an interesting thought and this so true ! I think I needed to read this, so thank you for helping us take a step back and focusing on our preferences.
This post resonates with me. I am almost 60 years old, and the “age appropriate “ rules are absolutely ridiculous. I have no desire to dress to meet other people’s expectations of what someone my age or body type should wear. I’ve never been a shorts or mini skirt person ever, but I love tanks and spaghetti straps and wear them happily. Someone doesn’t approve, look at something else! I would not dream of being culturally offensive and will cover in churches, or while traveling in conservative countries. At work, I will wear those things over a tee or under a blouse/sweater to be work appropriate. But on my own time, in my own city, I’ll rock the slip dress when I feel like it. Life’s too short and it’s too hot to worry about hiding my neck/chest/arms to please someone else!