Cleaning out my closet for the capsule wardrobe was a lot harder than I anticipated. I’m not generally a “saver”, but when I was ready to buckle down and start getting serious about what I wanted style-wise, letting go seemed scary.
It sounds so silly because, come on! They are just clothes!
But I was also letting go of the old me. The pre-mom years, the district manager years, the shopaholic years. Basically my entire 20’s!
I had to put that all behind me and look at what was realistic for my life right now. In some ways, I could relate it to a grieving process.
The 7 Stages of Purging Grief
Stage 1 – Denial: I don’t have THAT many clothes. Sure, I have all those boxes of clothes in storage and there’s not an ounce of room in my closet, but it’s not that bad. I also have my goal pants. But if I just eat lettuce for the rest of my life, I will totally rock them. And the shoes? Well, I haven’t worn any of these heels in about 8 years, but they are sooo cute.
Stage 2 – Guilt: Look at all this money down the drain. Piles of clothes just waiting to be sent off. How can I live with myself? I worked so hard to buy all this stuff and here I go, just giving it away. I’m a monster. A fashion monster.
Stage 3 – Bargaining: Why am I doing this?! OK, maybe if I have a garage sale, then I can earn a little money. And I’ll take my best stuff to the consignment stores. Wait, I put this checkered shirt in the giveaway pile? It doesn’t fit, but it’s totally in style right now! Let me just wear it one more time to make sure…
Stage 4 – Depression: I didn’t make much money from the consignment stores. My garage sale idea never panned out. I just dropped off 15 bags of clothes at the thrift store. What have I done? I feel sick. I can’t go on.
Stage 5 – Upward Turn: Well… at least now I get to go shopping for a few things?
Stage 6 – Reconstruction: OK, I have a plan! I know what I need and what I want. I’m building a functional, fashionable wardrobe for myself and making long-term goals. This is good. This is where I want to be.
Stage 7 – Acceptance: I can stand back and see the progress I’ve made. I love everything in my closet. I could totally get used to this capsule wardrobe thing!
So, my lovely friends – obviously this is just a lighthearted way of saying that I had my doubts. (And that I might be a teeny bit melodramatic.)
It just wasn’t as simple as getting rid of clothes and then buying more. The process sent me searching for something better. It exposed my insecurities. It sent me on a journey to simplify and try to be a better version of myself.
But they are just clothes!!
I know, right? Who would’ve thought?
{Check my blog to see how I distressed these black jeans for a new look!}
Love everything about the outfit except the shoes. I would wear it with low heel booties.
Booties: another of my favorite go-to items for sure!
Love this post, and loving your style so far jaana! Keep it up girl :)
I love this post because its so true that when going through this process that the hardest thing can often be just letting go of everything that had been tying you down! and also the skinny pants, oh I have so been there! Why do we do this to ourselves? haha
loving the posts!
Jess
therealjlow
Great post Jaana! Anyone who has started a capsule wardrobe TOTALLY gets this! But yes! alas it is wonderful to be on the other side of it and be free of those CLOTHES :)
You have a cute style! I dont have adorable sneakers like those, so i wouldnt have thought to make that outfit more on-the-go like you have….great idea :) Booties arent ALWAYS the most practical choice ;)
Over the last couple years I’ve become quite a sneaker convert and I’m so happy they are somewhat fashionable right now. Thanks for the comment <3
Can I just say how TIMELY this post was? I am literally in the throes of going through every. piece. of. clothing. i. own. I, too, thought it wasn’t that bad, until under the direction of the Marie Kondo’s book, I put all my clothing into one room, pulling from 3 closets and two homes (I still had clothes at my parents house!). Seeing everything in one place caused me to burst into tears- am I really never going to wear that sparkly gown again? This was the outfit I wore in Paris! – and then caused me to look at my life. It’s been hard, and ongoing this week, and involved me moving piles of clothes from one side of the guest room to the other. Thank you for reminding me that I am working towards something greater- the freedom to accept and embrace the life I am leading now, and to know that the clothes are just…clothes. Not memories. Thank you!
I just finished Marie Kondo’s book and did this two weekends ago with my clothing, shoes and jewelry. I have been purging for the past 6 months, but not like she recommends. I wound up with 4 large black trash bags full of clothing and shoes. 2 were donated and 2 sent to Thread Up. We will see if I get any $ . I also folded all my shirts, sweaters and underwear according to her method and it’s great. I have been wearing things that I forgot I had and the best part…I love everything I own and getting dressed in the morning is so easy.
Yes they are just clothes!
Keep it up girl! xoxo
Love this post. I don’t think of myself as someone who holds on to things, but I definitely get really stupid sentimental about clothes!!
You are darling. I always think, What if I had not bought all these clothes (mistakes), I would have so much money in savings. Well, water under the bridge and a new day ahead, right? All of your points really resonated with me, thank you!
love this post! totally true! :)
I love your writing style and the seven stages cracked me up! Can’t wait to hear more from you!
What a great post. It spoke to me today as I am somewhere between stage 2 and 4! I have my capsule…..and the rest of my clothes. All in my closet. Just in case. I did send off a full bag to thres up consignment….but those 5 inch green suede platform shoes that are pre babies?! I still can’t let them go. Also still hoarding a few of my maternity purchases…my kids are 5 and 3. Inspiration and compassion were much needed here, thank you!
We must be clothing soul sisters – I can totally relate to your entire comment!
So, so true (just replace “consignment stores” with Ebay for me). Great post!
This describes my feelings exactly!! I did a huge closet purge last year and had a really hard time letting go of the earlier version of myself some of those clothes represented. It was especially hard to part with my beloved high heeled shoes from my early 20s but now that my closet is free of all those clothes that were just sitting there collecting dust, I find it is SO much easier getting dressed in the morning. I’m still working on building my wardrobe to something that feels 100% me, but understand it’s definitely a process. Thanks for sharing your insight – I loved this post. Also – your outfit is adorable!
Love this! It’s all worth it in the end, I think is the takeaway. I’m working on whittling down my closet but definitely am getting stuck on a few pieces (which have been hanging on my closet door for about two weeks now, waiting to be tried on…). This post is great motivation!
I can’t get past stage 2! I always feel guilty about getting rid of clothing for that exact reason – I spent hard earned money on it and I am just giving it away? (even if I don’t wear it) This post hit the nail on the head! I have a big plastic tote full of my closet clean-out clothing and I am not quite sure what to do with it all. Give it away? Sell? Put it back in my closet? This post was exactly what I needed to read!
Love the outfit and the post! Going through basically the exact same thing right now, reassuring to see my thoughts echoed :).
I can totally relate. I go through this constantly with my wardrobe. CONSTANTLY! In addition I think, maybe I should hang on to this stuff for my nieces to play dress up in some day. In the end it does feel so much better to let it go.
‘They are just clothes’ this is so true, they are just clothes- not health, not family, not life. Just clothes. I think sometimes, in the western world, we place so much value on ‘just clothes’ and we are consumed by it and end up missing out on what matters in life. Ever since my capsule, I have more money to spend on my loved ones and I have more time to spend with my loved ones and not shopping or worrying about clothes. Thanks for sharing such a wonderful message! xox
Okay. You’re adorable. Thanks for sharing your journey. :) I have to say that while I LOVE Caroline’s perspective, I’m super happy that she’s featuring a woman who is a mama this season. Your ideas of what fashion should entail just change (a lot) when you have to count on running, bending, and getting spilled on throughout the day.
Absolutely! Thanks for pointing mama-related choices out!
Life is definitely different with the little ones!!
I agree with Christina! I did my major purge this week and I’m considering how to proceed and how things are different now with a little one. I’m excited to see your perspective Jaana! Loved your post today! It definitely rang true this week! Thanks!
Right there with you; especially with looking at the piles I spent money on that I can just clear out now. Looking forward to how this shifts things for me now and in the future! (and I think I may just skip that garage sale I was half-thinking about ;) )
Well said! Funny but so true.
Cute outfit! Cute post!
Why is it so hard to let go?
I look in my closet with clothes spanning 15 years and find myself saying, “but I fell in love in that tank top. I danced to Ben Harper in at skirt, we had our first fight while I was wearing those torn up old shoes….”. And on and on. I need to record te memories and toss the cloths
Sentimentality gets you every time. It’s the romantic notion of it all. I totally understand!
Ugh it’s Stage 4 that always gets me! I recently cleared two whole garbage bags worth of clothes from my closet, and I’m so bummed because I know that I’ll hardly get any money for them at the consignment store!
I currently have my entire wardrobe in a piled heap on on my couch, much to my boyfriend’s dismay. Netflix-watching currently involves pushing the pile of clothes a little bit more to the left, haha. I needed this post! Currently stuck in guilt/denial. Going to tackle it this evening!
This is hilarious.
so much truth!!! love the irony of your lighthearted melodrama … we all know exactly what you mean!!! time + $$$ + (somewhat loosely) identity = “just clothes” :)
The way you describe the changes is so true! I like the sneakers with the skinny pants on you! Very European.
I think I finally got rid of most of the clothes that I had that were crappy quality/didn’t fit. And it was so liberating. I’m still hanging on to some stuff that is better quality/fits but I just don’t really wear and/or I’m not sure if it’s my style anymore. I’m also still holding on to a few of those pants that I want to fit one day. I really should give up on those because they’re from my early college days when I actually lost weight and people used to tell me they wanted to give me a sandwich. I eat food now so I can hope and wish all I want but they’re probably never going to fit.
I do decently selling some stuff on Poshmark. I’ve sold 38 items for a total of $635 in earnings. It does take a little time and the resistance to not buy more things while you’re on there.
Omg that’s awesome! I love the idea of poshmark but just didn’t seem to be able to keep up with it. That’s exciting!
It’s a bit of a commitment. It’s set up like a social network, so the more people you follow and share their listings – the more will see yours. That is a bit tedious to me, I’m not really an avid social media girl. Some people have over 100k followers, I have about 3k. The app is incredibly easy to use though. I’ve even had a small issue with a sale and customer support was good as well. If you have any designer or sought after items they can sell really quickly. It has also been interesting to realize how much an item is “worth” to me, which is sometimes not totally related to how much I paid for it.
i love this! i haven’t even started going through my clothes yet, and i’m already having some of those thoughts! i’m also a bit melodramatic at times… can’t wait to see more of your style jaana!
I am so glad I am not alone with those emotions. They may be “just clothes” but in reality they hold a lot more meaning. I started working from home just over a year ago, and I am still having a hard time accepting that I am no longer at a point in my life where I need certain “work” essentials. I can’t let go of my multiple pairs of dress shoes even though most days are spent in slippers maybe a ballet flat or pair of boots if I have to go out. I have 3 boxes in my basement waiting to be sorted out for donation and consignment, I need to “rip the bandaid off” and just do it. I know I will feel so much better once I do. I still have a couple dresses I can’t let go of even though they don’t work for my life style and don’t fit quite right. Just seeing them brings me joy, so I am trying to find a way to display them as art somewhere rather then taking up space in the back of my closet.
I think it took me 5 years to part with my work clothes!! Because what if?? Haha go for it!!
I am new to this blog, but have obsessively read almost every post in the past couple days. Like other readers, I have been Marie Kondo-ing my house in preparation for a move to Italy (where there are…gulp…no closets in our new house!). This post today was PERFECT for me because although I was able to get rid of a lot of clothing, I am still holding on to pieces that I love, that “give me joy” in the Kondo sense, but don’t make any sense for my life right now. Thanks for this post Jaana (which was spot on and in no way melodramatic!) and thanks for your blog Caroline! I have followed other fashion bloggers but you are the first one that I find truly accessible (re: you aren’t rocking those free studded Valentino heels that EVERY fashion blogger has). You are true to your style and actually talk about your choices in a meaningful way, not just 1200 posts of “This $500 sweater is my new favorite (because it was given to me for free)”
i know this post is supposed to be kind of a joke, but actually i think it’s very true for me. i’m still in the denial phase, thinking i could never live without all these pieces of clothing for one reason or another. i’m still learning about capsule wardrobes, but i feel the pull to simplification. it’s just so hard to let go!
I was lucky I did not go through these stages, but I can totally relate! My wardrobe was full of cheap, ill-fitting rags, and the capsule wardrobe allows me to own a bit more expensive, higher quality clothes. So saying goodbye for me was very easy! I will blog about my capsule wardrobe journey on my blog next week
http://soletal.blogspot.com
Jaana,
That H&M shirt is fantastic. Looks like it can go with almost anything + it’s fun!
Your stages cracked me up this morning :) Particularly Stage 3 “Let me just wear it one more time to make sure…” which is what I’ve caught myself saying MANY times throughout this purging process.
Thanks for the smile this morning!
Ugh, this is all so true!
Becky :: accooohtrements.wordpress.com
I love the outfit and your words! It’s awesome seeing the new faces on here. Happy Thursday!
Hahaha I absolutely love this. I am TOTALLY the person saying “let me wear this one more time just to make sure!” …even if I haven’t worn it in 4 years.
Oh God I feel like I’m the one who wrote this post. I’ve been trying to convince myself that I can totally do it for a week now. I probably read the how to section here like a hundred times. But I literally have clothes in my closet from when I was 15!! It is absurd! and even though it seems hard to let go of the Diesel jeans you were begging your mom to buy you for your sweet sixteen, it is a good thing to do. (Seriously, these are the clothes I can’t giveaway.)
Well girls, I did it!! And now i have the bed in my guest room full of “unwanted” clothes. And there are maaaany of them. But it feels so much better to open my closet in the morning :)
Congrats!! Feels good huh?
Yes, yes, yes! Right on the money (and funny to boot.)
Loved hearing your thoughts! I’m so tempted to do the capsule wardrobe thing and go totally minimalistic but I know as soon as I start getting rid of things I’ll panic. I’m not ready to take the plunge yet, but reading this definitely helps.
Love this! You could apply this list to so many aspects of life.
I LOVE this outfit. I would totally wear this, simple but special details that stand out and above all it looks comfy and functional! Your seven stages are hilarious Jaana! I think I’m currently bouncing back and forth between 2 and 6…must. move. on. Anyway, I’m a burbank-ian as well – we must be neighbors!
Cool!! <3
Oh my goodness ~ love love love the shoes with this outfit!!! Such a great momma on the go outfit. SO REAL!!!
I love this post from Flylady about clutter: http://www.flylady.net/d/br/2015/01/21/back-to-basics-musing-clutter/
Kinda/sorta similar plaid shirt (it’s NOT flannel even though it has it in the description) that I just received and met the requirements of a light colored, patterned, button up, soft but not heavy blouse (whew!): http://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=2880130020001&cid=1024835&locale=en_US
Caroline, these guest posts have been so much fun. What a great addition to your wonderful blog!
Great post. And I love the outfit.
Hi Jaana! You are so stylish. How many new items did you buy for your capsule wardrobe? X
I think for Winter I bought about 8 new items. 1 Pair of booties, 2 coats, 1 pair of thick leggings and a few tops.
Oh lord girl, I am so on stage 3 right now. :( Haha.
Love everything about this post! Cleaning out your wardrobe properly sounds x1000 times easier than actually doing it! I must admit I still got a box somewhere with “storage” clothes…
That is so true, my bargaining phase convinced me to keep 100 items in my fall capsule. This winter I got down to 40, it was more of a gradual decline. Happy to hear I wasn’t the only one suffering from mass guilt. I love your style and the pieces in your capsule!
This is so how I feel every time I purge my closet! (Not quite to capsule wardrobe yet!) It’s so freeing getting on the other side of it though! Love your input on Un-Fancy!
Okay, so I know i’m late in my reply for this post, but your grief stages are so true!
I think I’m currently in between the Upturn and Reconstruction phases.
This is something I want, but it is definitely a lot harder than I thought it would be. It has caused me to have to process hard feelings, even from.my childhood!
So, while this is something I want, it is also hard. The grief phases are definitely helpful.