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Un-Fancy

Outfits: Spring

getting personal: what self-love looks like to me

02/26/19

This post is sponsored by The Dreslyn, a Los Angeles-based online specialty store of thoughtfully selected and timeless designer apparel. 

I discovered The Dreslyn last year and felt immediately drawn to their curated aesthetic. They carry versatile investment pieces from some of my favorite designers, like St. Agni, Rachel Comey, and Ozma of California. Read other entries in their Self-Love series here.

Now onto the post…

I’m getting back in the groove after a wonderful weekend spent with old friends in Austin. These last few weeks of winter I’ve felt stuck and anxious, but over the weekend with our friends, I started to feel that old energy melt away. A new season is right around the corner, and I’m thankful for the healing power of relationships.

I’ve been reflecting on relationships lately — especially the cyclical connection between loving others and loving ourselves.

There’s been buzz around the term self-love for years, but it’s really been just this last year that I’ve come to understand it’s true essence in my life.

Rather than confusing self-love with spending money or indulging lavishly, I see it as something much more internal. Self-love is a state of mind — a habit of appreciating the full scope of humanity that resides within. 

Beyond that, self-love is actually a vital component of loving others. Loving ourselves and loving others are like a yin and yang pair — two sides of the same coin. Without love for others, we cannot fully love ourselves. Without love for ourselves, we cannot fully love others. But together, they form a complete circle.

The more I dwell in this circle, the more sure of myself I feel. The more I practice self-love, the more I know what I think, need, and want — and the more I’m able to show up authentically for others. And for a recovering people-pleaser like myself, this is life changing.

So, today, I wanted to explore more of this idea through a simple, short series of questions. As you read, consider how you might answer these questions.

Ready? Let’s jump in.

Confidence is: breathing deeply.

Identity is: ever changing.

I am from: a small town in the central plains of Texas.

The thing I love most about myself is: my creative mind.

The thing I love most in others is: sincerity.

I need: music.

I relax by: taking walks, cuddling my dog, having a cup of green tea.

I’m inspired by: stone sculptures, currently. The works of Jean Arp and Henry Moore. The way the shadow, light, and stone compliment each other fascinates me.

I can’t live without: curiosity.

Influence is: something to regularly reflect upon and ask, “Whose influence am I under? Do I want to be under their influence?”

A book that changed my perspective is: The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander.

I’m currently listening to: Maggie Rogers.

I’m currently watching: old seasons of SNL.

I’m excited by: the future of sustainability, especially in fashion.

I trust: my intuition.

I’m impressed by: humankind’s capacity to adapt and change.

I feel complete when: I practice gratitude.

I aspire to: live without resistance.

I believe in: humanity.

I’m working on: getting to know my neighbors.

I practice self love by:

  • getting up and taking a break when I feel myself getting stressed or tense
  • asking for help when I need it
  • feeling my feelings instead of squelching them or numbing out
  • breathing deeply for one minute
  • saying no to a commitment that will stretch me thin
  • taking the time to ask myself what I need
  • saying what I think, instead of trying to give the “right” answer

If you see something you like, you can shop it and support my blog at the same time using the affiliate links below:

Top by Toteme (gifted)

Vintage Jeans (similar | similar)

Earrings by Rachel Comey (gifted)

Shoes by Intentionally Blank (gifted)

Vintage Bag (similar)

Vintage Scarf (similar)

• • •

And there you have it!

Again, I’m so grateful to The Dreslyn for sponsoring this post — it’s a delight to work with a thoughtful company that’s interested in exploring meaningful topics like this.

Now it’s your turn! What does self-love look like for you? Pick a handful of the prompts above and share your answers in the comments below. If you need a starting point, my two favorite prompts are: 

The thing I love most about myself is:

The thing I love most in others:

Til next time, see you around on Pinterest and LTK!

xo,

17 Comments

Related

Comments

  1. Sarah says

    February 26, 2019 at 2:10 pm

    this was so so so timely for me – from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for this post.

    Reply
  2. Sandy says

    February 26, 2019 at 2:23 pm

    Beautiful post! Thank you for sharing. To me, self love looks like self understanding and acceptance, self care of body, mind and spirit, and self improvement by building character.

    Reply
    • Mary-Ellen Krull says

      February 26, 2019 at 2:51 pm

      What does it mean to live without resistance?
      As always, love your thoughts.

      Reply
      • Caroline says

        February 26, 2019 at 3:45 pm

        To me, it means letting life come to me and trying to experience it first without tension or judgement. :)

        Reply
  3. Marie says

    February 26, 2019 at 2:45 pm

    I feel like I need to come back to this post on a weekly basis. It is so inspiring… Thank you! I like the idea of returning to these questions to check in and make sure you’re ok….I also loved the photographs you chose for this post. Perfect. xx

    Reply
  4. Kelli says

    February 26, 2019 at 3:34 pm

    Wow! Love this and have loved your blog. Self care has been so needed for me this year – really inspired me to think more on this. Going to spend some time journaling my responses to these questions. Thank you for sharing this!

    Reply
  5. Sarah Winton says

    February 26, 2019 at 3:36 pm

    The thing I love most about myself is: my sense of humour!

    The thing I love most in others: confidence!

    xo

    Reply
  6. Elle Watson says

    February 26, 2019 at 8:29 pm

    As always, I love your posts ❤
    A book that changed my perspective is: Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist
    I have read many of the books you have recommended over time and they have all had an effect on my perspective. This isn’t one of them but I have read it most recently.

    Reply
    • Kelly says

      February 27, 2019 at 8:56 am

      That does look like a good book. I just read the preview on Amazon and I’m already inspired. Thanks for the recommendation!

      Reply
  7. Nichole says

    February 26, 2019 at 9:05 pm

    I love this post! Thanks for the self-love inspiration.

    Confidence is: knowing your worth.
    Influence is: something to be aware of and continually redirect toward positivity.
    I’m currently listening to: Arctic Monkeys.
    I trust: that everything happens for a reason.
    I’m impressed by: nature.
    I feel complete when: I practice gratitude.
    I aspire to: spread positivity.
    I believe in: love.
    I’m working on: being present.
    I practice self love by:
    * Working out
    * Eating healthy
    * Meditating

    Reply
  8. Janet Lear says

    February 26, 2019 at 10:05 pm

    Wow! I can’t believe the timing of your blog. This hit me big time… I especially needed this –I am so glad I opened my email….and there you were……Thank you. thank you….you are inspiring me to dig deep into my soul. Hmmm- I’m just learning to like myself at 72 yrs, of age….some days…ha… but am fascinated by the blog and questions….
    The thing I like about myself—my sense of humor!! Has helped me through many a situation–and I’m able to laugh at myself…
    The thing I like about others is integrity.

    Reply
    • June says

      February 27, 2019 at 10:30 am

      Janet, I find your comment inspiring! It sounds like you have a lot to like about yourself, especially your ability to keep growing.

      Reply
  9. Veronica McGrath says

    February 27, 2019 at 6:13 am

    Superb post…and I applaud you for reminding us all of the vitality of love (of self and others) and the interconnections of different types of love. Thank you :)

    Reply
  10. Daedre Decker says

    February 27, 2019 at 9:43 am

    I enjoyed your comment about influence . “Who’s influence are we under? This is a great question for me to think about.

    Reply
  11. Margie says

    February 27, 2019 at 10:45 am

    Wow, synchronicity.?
    I have been so hard on myself lately for all my different-ness, perceived inabilities, sensitivities. Last night a thought came to me, it said, “But that is exactly what makes you beautiful.”
    And then seeing your magical post now. Thank-You?✨

    Reply
  12. Beth says

    February 28, 2019 at 12:36 pm

    I love this, now I need to reflect on what I love and know about me. Thank you for your words. Very reflective thoughts!

    Reply
  13. Dana says

    February 28, 2019 at 1:16 pm

    Thoughtfully beautiful and inspiring!

    Reply

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