Coat: Mango (also similar on sale) Dress: old from Banana Republic Outlet (similar here) Shoes: Charles David Bag: Marc Jacobs (similar for way less here) Necklace: handmade via Etsy (similar)
Some days I want to wear a lot of makeup — other days I’m proud of going makeup free. Some days I want to wear a push up bra — and other days I wear a bralette and embrace my natural shape. Some days I feel like I should get a tan — and other days I want to celebrate my natural paleness.
I go back and forth between preferring my natural state and preferring extra boosts.
Both have value.
But. Sometimes I still feel like I need those extra boosts to be … enough.
So I tried something out. Because I don’t want waste energy feeling that way anymore. I’d rather put that energy towards something good today.
I put a little purple Post-It note on my bathroom mirror so I see it every day before I leave the house. It’s got my new mantra scribbled on it. It’s meant to be read it slowly:
I’m thankful
for the way I am,
just as I am,
right now —
even without
{this boost — fill in the blank}.
It’s the simplest thing. But I’m convinced that taking a moment for gratitude is magic. It sets off an avalanche of more gratitude. And in just a few moments, my perspective changes, and I see abundance rather than lack.
So tell me: If you needed to remind yourself of one thing each day, what would it be? What would your Post-It note say?
xo
Your timing with this post is perfect! I spent entirely too much time looking in the mirror yesterday trying to will my skin back to it’s early 30’s state! Being in my mid forties, the skin of my thirties now seems ideal! Of course, it never did when I was actually in my thirties! Thanks for the reminder to be grateful
i am also in my mid 40s and was thinking the SAME THING! I will try to remember to be thankful for what I have.
Hi Caroline,
I am very, very glad you have brought up the topic of gratitude. I read “The Magic” by Rhonda Byrne 271 days ago today–I know this because I have a little journal that I write a few sentences in every single morning, and have done so since the day I read chapter 1 in this book. It is a 30-day practice with a different gratitude-practice for each day, and after the last day I start all over again. Before I read and started the gratefulness-practices each day in this book, I thought I was a happy & grateful person, but I was about a fifth as happy & grateful as I am now. Even though I concentrate on the particular gratitude-practice for each day, every single day now I send my love and a wish for health, wealth, & happiness to one or more people I know or may not know, as outlined for one of the days/chapters in this book. I also practice every morning being thankful for the magnificent outcomes in advance of everything on my calendar for the day, and at night I review the day and list all the things I’m grateful for and try to find the one thing I am most grateful for of that day.
There are days in the monthly-cycle where you concentrate on yourself and being grateful for who and what you are, and other days where you focus your gratitude for all things and people outside yourself. I have read and been impacted positively by about 5 books in this past year (including “The Compound Effect” by Darren Hardy), but none so powerfully as this little book–and I am grateful for it!
And speaking of gratitude: I’m thankful for your fabulous blog, Caroline, your intentional positive-growth as a human being, and your wonderful outlook on life that you share with us.
My best as always,
Glenda
Hi Glenda! I’m adding this book to my reading list right now. So excited — can’t wait to dig in. Thank you for sharing! xo Caroline
You are enough just the way you are.
“Though the lot God has given you
Is to you’ll and labor,
Lift your eyes to the view,
Enjoy and savour”.
It is good to know that some people like you (who in a way seem to be fulfilled and happy all the time althought I know it isnt always true) strive with it. Your mantra is great, but you should know you are also great.
http://helloquietude.blogspot.com.br/
After going through my husband’s job loss 2 years ago, I have shifted my thinking FROM: “I have to go to work.” TO: “I get to go to work.” That job loss rocked our worlds. My husband found another job (not as good as the one he lost), but I will now always think about what a blessing it is to be employed. Practicing gratitude daily.
Hi Brenda! Thanks for sharing your story — what an awesome practice of reframing. :) xo Caroline
I loved your comments on gratitude. I agree, gratitude is the birthplace of joy. I have two great resources on gratitude to pass along to you. Have you ever heard of Brene brown? Her YouTube videos have gone viral and are excellent. She speaks a lot about gratitude. Another great book on gratitude is entitled “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp. Thanks so much for your blog. I love it.
Hi Julie! Thank you so much for sharing these resources! :) xo Caroline
I love this Caroline – I often remind myself “I am enough” and this short mantra dispels the anxiety of not being or looking a certain way and pressure to be more. It’s a simple reminder to love myself.
”I love you”
Exercises in gratitude can be so beneficial–I quite agree. On a separate note, I love the color of the dress you are wearing. That vibrant teal-green is just perfect.
my bathroom mirror sticky note simply says “FLOSS”
:)
Hi Stephanie! This made me laugh — that should probably be on my mirror too. :) :) xo Caroline
Hello! I remember some time back Caroline posted about her “fancy” and cocktail dresses. I can’t find it and the search engine isn’t helping. Does anyone know the link? Thanks!
Love the site, BTW!
Hi Kristin! Here you go:
http://www.un-fancy.com/my-capsule-wardrobes/my-capsule-wardrobe-for-special-occasions-how-to-build-one-yourself/
xo
Caroline
Thank you!!
I realized about a month ago that I rarely looked in the mirror in search of satisfaction and acceptance; my time in the mirror was (and is still, usually) a time of critical observation. Instead of looking for things I love about myself, I tended to look for problems that needed improvement. That realization hit me hard, because I think it speaks to inner acceptance of yourself as a person. I think I would post a reminder of that thought process: looking for things I am happy with, and not being so critical!
I have the Old Navy crossbody you linked to in black. I love it! The faux leather is so soft. After years of having to carry diaper / larger bags, I’m loving the freedom of a smaller bag! :)
If I had a post-it note with a daily reminder it would be: “Don’t set fire to yourself to keep others warm”
What I take from it is that I don’t need to sacrifice who I am to make someone else happy, no matter who they are and that I don’t need someone else’s permission to be happy.
Think along these lines has truly helped me stop apologizing for the things I enjoy, the way I like to dress, and has really helped put a halt on a lot of my own self destruction.
Thanks for this post – it’s always great a great reminder to be thankful for all of the things we are, even the parts we don’t always like :)
This post reminds me of the song Try – by Colbie Caillat. <3
I constantly remind myself that time isn’t money, time is life so that I remember to enjoy the things that are around me.
Kari
http://www.sweetteasweetie.com
It took me over a year to get used to not wearing a padded push up bra and to appreciate my natural shape. (Reading about french standards of beauty really helped!) I’m so glad I did. It’s so much more comfortable. It’s a practice, self-acceptance.
Caroline!
I have been following along for months and months but have yet to comment. So, hi!
I’ve been thinking about gratitude a lot lately, too, and have decided that each morning when I get to the office I will write down one thing that I am thankful for that day. And, when I leave, one thing that I learned. The goal is to not only be thankful but also to be intentional about learning and making a transition from “home” to “work” and back, each day.
I love seeing others think about gratitude, too!
Kenzie
ps. I started down my own capsule wardrobe path yesterday (during a snow day – it was perfect) – so excited!
This post is perfect! I think this is something that we all struggle with in life. Whilst most of the time I feel happy with myself I have moments were I think I must immediately change certain things to feel good about my appearance. Then I remember that everyone is perfect in their own way and nothing about me should be changed. I think beauty products and underwear etc. can enhance what we have (and love) but it shouldn’t become a substitute for being the real you. Sometimes its enough to just be you! Thanks for sharing x
Thanks so much for sharing this Caroline! It is very inspiring. It is so empowering when we can love and honor ourselves and know that we are enough exactly as we are. Gratitude is a powerful practice and can change your life. I wrote a blog about gratitude and happiness. You can check it out here: http://tammyblomsterberg.com/how-gratitude-makes-you-happy/ Hugs & Blessings!
Absolutely love your new mantra + may have to pop it on my own mirror. I am SO guilty of being in front of the mirror criticising myself far too often, I think everyone is and this is a brilliant tip. xo
Turning 30 next week and I don’t normally fixate on numbers and aging, but all the sudden I see more wrinkles and grey hair than ever before. Thanks for reminding me that I am enough without haircolor or flawless skin!
On a side note. I love these boots. Love. LOVE. Are they comfortable?
I really enjoyed this post… A few months ago I was in kind of a low spot and decided to write down all the adjectives I would want myself and others to describe me- things like centered, joyful, and kind. I kept the list on my bedside table so, before I even got out of bed, I would read the list and focus on embodying all of those characteristics. I think its very effective to visualize and repeat those positive thoughts to ourselves! I actually used the same method to create my spring capsule, I chose some adjectives and tried to gather ideas based on those words.
Thanks for sharing!
Kate
I love this so much! I just started following you after listening to your interview on the Jess Lively podcast, and I have read almost all your posts by now! I really love your outlook on everything, it is just the kind of mindset I am slowly trying to get myself in. And this post-it note idea is perfect! Reminding us to be happy in the moment : ) Thanks so much!
The mantra I’ve been repeating lately is “really listen.” I’ve noticed lately how often I’m only half paying attention to others, how I frequently I let my mind wander when they’re talking, and how I don’t make eye contact all the time. Reminding myself to really listen every day is reconnecting me to the things that are really important = people, especially the people I love.
That I’m thoroughly blessed to have what I have and that I’m provided for.
Inspired by the book ‘the four agreements’ (which has a powerful message but was horribly fluffy to read, be warned :D) I now use this mantra each morning after meditating:
Today, I will be impeccable with my word. I will take nothing personally. I will make no assumptions. And above all, I will do my best.
To be impeccable with my word (to use my words for good, not evil, including in my self-talk) is the one I would currently pick as the most important one.
When I was single, in my 20’s, living by myself, I painted my bathroom mirror with flowers and affirmations. It made me smile everyday. Sometimes self care requires the simplest things.
Love your shopping efficiency insights, Caroline! I’ve been reading your blog for several months and know I can always count on a down-to-earth perspective on the shopping world. I’m planning on trying out a capsule wardrobe this spring and am excited/nervous for the challenge.
I actually bought the Old Navy bag you mentioned above a couple of weeks ago and absolutely love it – FYI for anyone interested in that part of your outfit.
Thank you again!